AUSSIE BUSH Etiquette is recognised throughout the civilized world.
But we all need to be reminded from time to time so as not to drop our standards.
- Never take an open stubby to a job interview;
- Always identify people in your paddocks before shooting at them;
- It’s tacky to take an esky to church;
- Even if you are certain you’re included in the will, it’s rude to take your ute and trailer to the funeral.
- When decanting wine from the box, tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so as not to bruise the wine;
- If drinking directly from the bottle, hold it with only one hand.
Entertaining At Home:
- A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist;
- Don’t allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his manners.
- While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this should be done in private, using one’s own ute keys;
- Even if you live alone, deodorant isn’t a waste of money;
- Extensive use of deodorant can only delay bathing by a few days;
- Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a no-no — it alters the taste of finger foods — and if you are a woman, it can draw attention away from your jewellery
- Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up after the movie ends;
- Refrain from yelling abuse at characters on the screen; tests have proven they can’t hear you.
- Livestock is a poor choice for a wedding gift;
- For the groom, at least, rent a dinner suit. A track suit with a cummerbund and a clean football jumper can create a tacky appearance;
- Though uncomfortable, say “yes” to socks and shoes for the occasion.
- Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if your gun’s loaded and the roo’s in your rifle sight;
- When entering a roundabout, the vehicle with the largest bull bar doesn’t always have the right of way;
- Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape;
- When sending your wife down the road with a petrol can, it’s impolite to ask her to bring back a carton of beer too.