Hello — Gordon’s pizza?
No sir, it’s Google Pizza.
So, it’s a wrong number?
No sir, Google bought it.
Okay, take my order please.
Well sir, you want the usual?
The usual? Do you know me?
According to caller ID, the last 12 times you have ordered pizza with cheese, sausage, thick crust.
Okay! That’s it.
May I now recommend ricotta, arugula with sun dried tomato?
No, I hate vegetables.
But your cholesterol is 7.4.
How do you know?
Through the subscriber’s guide; we have your blood tests for the last seven years.
Okay, but I don’t want this pizza — I already take medicine.
You haven’t taken the medicine regularly; four months ago, you only purchased 30 tablets at Drugs Online.
I bought more from another pharmacy.
It’s not showing on your credit card.
I paid in cash.
But you did not withdraw that much cash according to your bank statement.
I have another source of cash.
This is not showing on your last tax form, unless you got it from undeclared income source.
Bloody hell! Stuff Google, Facebook, Twitter, and WhatsApp; I’m off to an island without the internet.
I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport — it expired five weeks ago.